Monday, January 24, 2005

Black Taliban

Much was made of Julian Bond’s comment about the “Taliban Wing of the Republican Party,” especially in light of Kwiesi Mfume’s departure from the NAACP. What is not discussed is the Taliban wing of the Black community- a damaged wing that stifles progress like any other retrogressive regime. It is not centrally organized, but its cells exert a powerful influence on the thoughts, beliefs and actions of many in this country.

If there is any doubt as to the extent of its influence, one need look no further than the past two elections where President George W. Bush received between 8 and 12% of the Black vote. The Black Taliban strongly discourages voting for Republicans or even supporting Republican causes. A verbal public flogging is the punishment for disobedience.

How does it operate? Through various committees that meet in secret while the rest of America sleeps. One won’t see a minaret nor hear the call to prayer, but the broadcast of the call to compliance with the party line is no less effective. The Mullahs preach their sermons in op/ed articles, by politicians, on some talk radio shows and in barber shops. There we are told how to think and how to behave. We are also told to avoid books at all costs in favor of televisions – preferably those with big screens.

The Black Taliban has an Immigration and Excommunication Service that works to determine the veracity of a given person’s blackness. “Keep it Real” is its motto. Ward Connerly and Clarence Thomas have been sent to exile after breaking the Oreo Statute. Condolezza Rice is before the tribunal. Bill Cosby got a verbal reprimand (while the silent black majority tacitly nodded in agreement with his comment). A public nod is acceptable by the enforcers of the party line, but it must be accompanied by a grim face. Guys in white Toyota crew-cab pickups (as seen in Iran) with 22-inch rims will give you the evil eye if you enthusiastically affirm Dr. Cosby’s comments.

The TCLU (Taliban Civil Liberties Union) shows up whenever a Black person is roughed up by the police to ensure that all evidence is collected and then selectively attended to. Resisting arrest is ignored, because Black people never do that. The10 vials of crack cocaine fall out of the victim’s pocket are deemed irrelevant. DNA? Please. The gloves didn’t fit.

The Exile Committee requires that Black people never forget that this is not our home and that we cannot feel comfortable in America until every single solitary racists act and. miniscule slight is removed. This committee recommends that white women cut their hair short so that they won’t accidentally fling it in the direction of an ever-vigilant committee member. They also assert that life for Black people is better in Utopia, but they just can’t seem to place it on the map.

The Truth about Whitey Committee reminds us that almost every white person is racist at heart. All one has to do is look in his closet to see the Klansman’s sheets sitting next to the fire hose. When “White Folks” are sent the message (from different minarets), they will drop what they are doing, don their robes, grab their hoses and blast us. The Afghani Taliban preferred a simpler, more medieval time. The Black Taliban is sure that it is still 1905, not 2005. “Nothing has changed” is their lament.

The Trite Rhetoric Committee publishes high-sounding statements but holds no one to task for their implementation. It pronounces that “Our children are our future” but does not challenge absentee mothers and fathers. It also fights school choice and does not tell us that the best after school program ever conceived is dinner with family, then homework, then bed. It insists that we descended from “Kings and Queens.” All of us have royal lineage? I guess none of us descended from thieves, beggars and village idiots.


There are more committees. Once the ink dries on this, I am sure that the Dirty Laundry Committee will pay me a visit. Perhaps their future as an entity will be brief. One can only hope that the Talibs will be gently pushed aside and allow a truly progressive regime to take hold.

6 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

That was excellent!!! :D BTW, I came over from La Shawn's Corner

Andy

12:37 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

WHAT AN ILLUSTRATION OF ABSURDITY THAT IS DRENCHED WITH TRUTH !!!
Shout it from the roof tops.
We must free ourselves from this evil that aims to keep all ,Black, African-American or whatever we are calling ourselves today,in bondage and servitude. Not to whites but to them!!

4:32 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Great post.

You do understand that you will be denounced for daring to speak the truth?

I want to know .. how in the he@@ did we get into this situation, where we must 'tow the party line' or be denounced as sellouts?

7:24 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Excellent writing and analysis. I love the sentence:

"When “White Folks” are sent the message (from different minarets), they will drop what they are doing, don their robes, grab their hoses and blast us. "

From "different minarets." Nice. I look forward to reading you in the future.

mk

10:32 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow - all I can say is, right on! As a 47 year old black man, I am just tired of the same old same old rhetoric thas has not changed since I was a child - even though things are VASTLY better. It's funny how the "Black Taliban" say they are independent thinkers, even though they all think alike. But as soon as you oppose them, you are the one who is "brainwashed!" It ranks in my opinon among the most shameful positions these "so-called" leaders have put us in.

11:16 PM  
Blogger CNA said...

It is amazing to me that the victims of the rhetoric haven't caught on to the fraud.

8:43 AM  

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